very important decision

A lot of you readers are just dead weight. Let’s be honest. You don’t comment, you don’t send me candy corn, you don’t correct my spelling/grammar errors. You don’t alert me to breaking entertainment news.

Today is your day of redemption. I have a very important decision to make. My sister-in-law has worked her crazy internet jujitsu and found the old tube map image that was the banner on this blog for 2 1/2 years.

When I tried to guess a few days ago, I came up with as close a replica as possible from memory.

Now that I compare the two, I am torn. My new image represents a complete display of the Circle Line, which is very symbolic for me because it somewhat demarcates “central London” from the rest of massive London. And the life of my family here very much takes place for the most part within- which is a feat. However, the old map (where I inadvertently cut off part of the Circle Line- what did I know then?) shows the London tube system as it was the day we moved, before track and line changes including diverting part of the Circle Line, before Blackfriars was under construction etc. The old image was haphazard in a way, since I probably hadn’t even been on the tube when I uploaded it. But it was a moment in time that is precious to me.

Never mind, I figured it out. I think. Thanks, Kaci! Now if only I can fix the resolution…

(Eat it, WordPress. Grrr.)

some stuff + cotswolds for the fourth time

Off the bat (yeah, American idiom!) I need to mention that WordPress did me dirty. I got some email saying that my blog design theme would be changed and I could go ahead and change it now, or let it happen by default. I am not a default kind of girl so I changed it. But of course no one told me that the banner photo would disappear. It did. And even though I have looked at this page almost every day for 2 1/2 years, for the life of me I cannot remember what section of the tube map was displayed. So if you are some savant and you remember, let me know. Otherwise, I have re-created above. Boo hoo.
–
My law school mates are all atwitter over the recent cover story first broken by the NY Post which describes a steamy Diesel photo shoot shot in Brooklyn Law School’s library (you know you want to looky looky here). I know people are upset and I can sort of (only partially) understand. But I studied for hours and days and weeks of my life at those very same tables amidst those very same stacks of books. And these photos depict something more fun than me listening to Iron and Wine on repeat on my iPod while playing with my Friendster page and preparing to get all Bs.
–
Also, another thing that is not about the Cotswolds: last night at the exact moment the Jets scored a touchdown with only 30 seconds left in overtime to break the tie and win the game against the Cleveland Browns, is the exact moment that Bryan turned into a stark raving mad lunatic sliding back and forth across the floor and interchangeably screaming and laughing maniacally in a high-pitched squeal and awoke Jonah from a deep and much-needed slumber. Not cool, dudes of the world.
–
So the Cotswolds.

We rented a little cottage house this past weekend in Broadway with our four favorite friends in Marylebone. You might have seen them on this blog once or twice. We all heart the Cotswolds and the area is (theoretically) an easy journey from London. When you live so centrally urban and without a car, those rare weekends “in the country” are much-coveted. Images of a high street of little shops and pubs and winding country lanes and sheep grazing in a field and a fireplace going nonstop burning logs etc is what we were looking for. We got it, mostly, with just a little blood, sweat and tears. Seven of us were very packed in a car on Friday afternoon and hit that terrible escaping-the-city traffic and a ridiculous 3 1/2 hours later (we could have just gone to Wales!) arrived with an unhappy toddler to a cottage surprisingly small. And not all our attempted fires worked. But you know what? The Cotswolds are still movie-backdrop dreamy and we still laughed often and ate copiously. And the view from my bedroom window still looked nothing like central London. Thankfully.

Where else can you happen upon this?

Matt the Baby Whisperer in the pub while David had to do work from an internet cafe (aka a “tea room” with WiFi)

Most Fun Game Ever

do-over

I like to think of blogging like Fight Club.

The first rule of The Blog is, you do not talk about The Blog.
The second rule of The Blog is, you DO NOT talk about The Blog.

This is why you won’t see me mention it in passing conversation. Ever. I would rather die. False. I would not rather die. But nonetheless some of you silent and not-so-silent readers are super sweet and encourage me to quit my day job and/or publish something, against all insurmountable odds of a significant talent shortage and crippling student loan debt. (Shout out from yesterday: Zoe! She knows why. Long time reader, first time caller. x) Or, if last night’s raucous dinner at Les Trois Garcons is any indication, some people like to talk about The Blog openly. Forgive my demurring. We all know how shy and humble I am.

Back to the business at hand. There is one exception to the rule: sometimes I am imploring you to comment. And then, natch, the result is a foregone conclusion. Radio silence. Yesterday Jeremy saved the day with some good honest suggestions for ‘Mira aka Friend On The Couch’. If I may add one more for Couchy Friend: if you haven’t seen the Worst Movie of All Time, a movie so bad it is amazing, a terrible movie with suspect origins, a huge Hollywood following, a viral cornucopia, a movie with never-ending YouTube possibilities, a movie you and your friends and loved ones will never stop quoting until the end of time, well then what are you waiting for?

The Room by Tommy Wiseau. Google it. Watch it. Love it. Read this EW piece. Go to one of the midnight showings in a city near you. Hahahahahahahahaha (inside joke from The Room).

—

This is my haircut (Bonus is how hot I look in the photo)

I have friends, they know who they are, that are giving me sh*t for this haircut. And that’s the thing about envy: it hurts so good. Shout out to all the lesbians and Justin Bieber who rock hot short hair-dos.

—

London, I am guessing like many cities, is filled with these small Asian joints where you can get acupuncture, reflexology, massages and a number of other treatments for a multitude of health and well-being issues.

Let’s revisit the menu of treatable ailments, shall we?

Women’s problems
Mens problems
Children’s complaints
Internal conditions
Skin diseases
Pain
Addiction
Stress
and most other problems

I love the crap out of these places. Their advertisements are so intriguing. “Women’s problems”… so much potential… I mean, will they treat a husband’s inability to fully shut a cabinet door or dresser drawer? Will my Excel spreadsheet magically even out the row heights? How about blocking that annoying SAHM on Facebook? You know the one.

Mens problems. Oh, boo, effing hoo.

Children’s complaints. By far my favorite. I can totally see Jonah walking in and being all My mom won’t quit it with the vegetables and her voice is a little high-pitched for my taste. While I’m here, do you have a slide I can go down? I don’t have a slide at home. Our flat sucks, if I’m really honest.

And just so all bases are covered, they do also address “most other problems”. Give them a call today!

I do have one Women’s Complaint today actually, and it’s this: why does the whole of the British population love the show Frasier so much? WHY?

P.S. Melissa, I totally mentioned Google and youtube today. Welcome to London (again)!

MY 500th BLOG POST!

first and last “blog award”

Thank you to Werica at “Match” Made in NY for awarding me a beautiful blogger award the other day. I AM SO FAMOUS. The rules are:

Thank the person who gave you the award. Done.

Paste the award on your blog. Mmkay.

Link back to the person who gave you the award. Yees.

Share seven interesting things about yourself. FINE.

Nominate up to 7 more beautiful bloggers. Um…

Link the seven bloggers you nominate. Ah…

I am dubious that there might be one fact about myself I have yet to share and also “fabulous” probably does not apply to me, but here goes – 7 fabulous/interesting/unique/embarrassing things about me:

1. I’ve touched the Dalai Lama and Chris Martin. I am more excited about Chris. Mostly because the Dalai Lama was wearing a weird neon yellow baseball hat. Not cool, Dalai Lama, not cool.
2. I am afraid of Lasik surgery. Also, I used to feel very smugly self-satisfied that I had such good vision. I am pretty sure that’s why I now have a very strong prescription for contacts.
3. It’s very hard for me to lie. But I deflect. That’s not lying. Technically.
4. I never, ever, ever know the lyrics to songs. Even the chorus. Or bridge. Whatever ‘bridge’ means. I just pretend I know lyrics at concerts. If you were a good lipreader, I bet it would be hilarious to watch me.
5. I used to be convinced I could be a foot model. Oh, children.
6. I love, love, love to swim but for some reason I get disoriented during flip turns, and on more than one occasion have almost cracked open my skull against the wall. This is the only thing standing in the way between me and the Olympics.
7. Whoa, this is hard. I hate these lists because I always realize how boring I am. When Bryan goes out of town I always sleep with a steak knife under his pillow. It’s weird to me that I think I could take down an intruder that way. Also, sometimes I worry that if I forget to remove the knife, when Bryan returns home and settles in to bed and cups his arm under his pillow, that might suck for him.

As for awarding 7 beautiful bloggers, I think I will just let you all pick yours.

paper and paperless

Around the first week we arrived into London, I had the sudden shocking and concerning realization that the United States has a different paper size than the rest of the world.

Than the rest of the world.

That’s the type of bold (and italicized) behavior that one might not realize one’s native country engages in until one moves out of said bold country.

But really- paper? Why?

I am all for the unique and (sortof) globally-loved birthrights that come with being American: flag displaying, large portion eating, unapologetic enthusiasm and confidence, superior taste in film and tv making, mixing chocolate and peanut butter… but the break with rest of the world on sizing is nonsensical and difficult.

Try making a recipe out of a British cookery book. Vice versa. I don’t like to weigh ingredients and my British friends don’t own “cups”. What is a person to do? I am always having to buy clothes that make me think I am fat, shoes that make think I have bound feet and I always have the wrong reaction when someone is exclaiming to me about the temperature. They will say something like “on holiday it was 30 degrees!” and I will say “oh I am so sorry, that sucks”.

Paper though, is the worst. Especially because there is no rational reason the U.S. can’t join the rest of the world. This cute binder won’t hold my “important” papers from Before London.

The ISO- A series system is one that makes sense. Young children can even understand the concept of doubling. Of halving.

I want to hear the argument against adopting such a system. Inertia? Or more likely, reluctance to acknowledge that another way might be superior.

—

I am not good at keeping up my Blogroll because I don’t remember that often to read blogs. I am too busy devoting myself to this floundering one.

But here are some I might be reading today:

http://www.snacksandshit.com/ – because I laugh every time.

http://www.dippedmadeleine.com/ – a new expat (bad word, I know) blog that captures the excitement of moving here and also has lots of food pics (yes!)

http://matchmadeinny.blogspot.com/ – my friend from law school with simple New York stories (and will be even better once she moves to Brooklyn)

http://projectnest.squarespace.com/ – by a friend of a friend. If you like Before and After projects as much as me, but don’t want to do any manual labor or decision-making yourself

http://tackyweddings.com/ – just waiting for it to resume (please, please)

http://lifeintheboomerlane.wordpress.com/ – because my mom/mum is funny, and also because I can’t believe she learned how to upload photos