the very top thing i will miss

The best five years of our 14-year relationship has been the part where we moved to London. We didn’t know anyone. We had to figure everything out. I had to figure out the stupid shuttle outside a tube station I didn’t want to be outside of just to carry way more stuff than I had any business carrying myself back from IKEA. And then use the little Allen key to put the stupid thing together. So that when he came home from work and would naturally be disappointed that they don’t sell such things as baby carrots here, we’d have a dresser. We needed a dresser, so we got a dresser. Without a car or anyone to say where the best dressers are. And I had to figure out what would my job be because of course no one was going to tell me outright that my old job wasn’t going to work in my new country so I figured out how to get interviews and then I figured out how to get to them by staring, staring, staring hard at my little copy of A-Z which when I finally inevitably left it behind on the tube one day I didn’t need it anymore because I sort of knew where everything was but I wasn’t going to brag about it because he was going to come home from work a little more deflated that it wasn’t like he thought it would be and I was going to be a rock and not show worry or mention that we had come all this way and failure wasn’t an option. No one was there to say how you bleach your clothes and if you don’t, why not. Or that eventually you just won’t notice the hard water. For awhile we weren’t invited to anything on the weekends and it was so surprising in its freedom. And we looked at each other all those times and said Where should we go today? And then when we started being invited to things on the weekends we still remembered those weekends when we weren’t invited to things and so we always tried really hard to live like we hadn’t been invited to anything because those weekends we hadn’t been invited to anything were some of the best weekends of all.

And then we were three.

And then we were four.

And although London is 8 million different things to 8 million different people, and even though I am going to be so happy to live closer to our families in the US, and despite the fact that I am a very optimistic cautious optimist generally and will always believe it can only get better, for me

the very best thing of all about London and so the thing I will miss more than anything is that

#1 it was just us.


Filed under missing already

7 responses to “the very top thing i will miss

  1. Rachel

    Have a safe trip back to the U.S. I have loved your blog so much, I hope you’ll continue even in NY and share the details of the culture shock.

  2. Thanks for this wonderful list. A great insight into your experience of life in London. Have a safe trip back (I didn’t say “have a safe trip home”, because maybe London is home… or a second home… or something complicated).

  3. Lisa

    I loved your blog and will miss it! You are a great story teller. I’ve been reading it for 5 yrs…now I am not sure what to do with myself? Welcome back to the USA!

  4. sonjey

    It is the monsoon here! Sonjey is full of joy in a very wet way!….. OMG I was thinking what was her #1 and you just blew me away with it…. I should have guessed!…. Love you and just can’t wait!

  5. Joy

    Loved this post. I definitely hope you still blog once you’re back in NY, or else I’ll have to find another blog for my “to read at work” roster. 🙂

    • Joy

      Also, your this post/your blog in general always inspires me to get out there and live abroad with my husband (of just one year) so we can have a “just us” chapter away from family obligations and the familiar.

  6. I burst into tears upon reading this post…for that is the #1 thing I miss, too.

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