but what do you really think?

(This one is for Trina too.)

After two weekends of lots of different social plans that meant socializing in lots of different groups of people, I have now been the recipient of every stupid comment that a person is not supposed to make to a pregnant woman.

At a baby shower two weekends ago, a woman asked me if I wasn’t sure I was having twins. I responded:

Um, I have seen the scan (ultrasound). Soooo not unless one baby ate the other.

She was also shocked that I still had three months to go. Then this past weekend the same thing. People actually laughed out loud when I told them my number of weeks. As if I had either caught them way off guard, or was telling a hilarious joke. And it has even happened at work. From some of the nicest people.

First, I decided I would lie about my due date. Just tell people it’s in two weeks. And then it would be really funny when I kept going for months after. They would all start to get worried and panicky that I was setting some world record for gestation periods. Then I decided to just use humor. But my twin eating another twin joke can only go so far. Finally, I sort of waved the white flag and now I just murmur some kind of acquiesced “Yep…big…mmm.”

I am 27 weeks and luckily one of my many bad habits is an inexplicable amount of self-confidence. But I am not sure this excuses the comments. It’s not that they make me feel physiologically deformed (but apparently I am to all the unlicensed armchair amateur ob/gyns walking around), it’s that they make me sad that lots of people I like would be so cliché, not clever and lame-o. And there is nothing I hate more than realizing people I love are lame. This is why I avoid Facebook. But I will get off that soapbox.

In case you want to know what all the fuss is about, Bryan was forced to lift our tacitly understood ban on taking belly shots this time around. Look away if you must. Apparently I am gargantuan.


Do these horizontal stripes make me look fat?



Filed under prego-land

41 responses to “but what do you really think?

  1. toshalot

    I think you look both BEAUTIFUL and appropriately pregnant for your number of weeks. Also, regarding you not being on FB- Cristina is engaged!

    • yael

      Awwww, thanks. What a nice first comment on this!

      So one of my FB spies (the one I am married to) told me about Cristina. So exciting! I already emailed her : )

  2. Faye

    You’re gorgeous. Just wait until someone at works suggests you eat fruit instead of cereal! The whole world should keep their pregnancy comments to themselves! Don’t they know we’re extra sensitive around this time? Next time someone says something, you should ask how their diet and exercise is coming along…… =)

    • yael

      And you are so nice too.

      Oh geez, I forgot about that loser at your work. Yes, people should keep their comments to themselves. But then how would we be able to weed out the world’s a-holes?!

  3. Looking at that photo, and knowing this is not your first, I would have guessed 5 months along. I’ve seen women pregnant with twins, and by 5 months they looked 9 months pregnant!

    • yael

      Or maybe I should start telling people it is twins. And then after the birth I will just tell everyone that one was sort of ugly so I donated it to the nursing staff.

  4. I can tell by how you are carrying the baby exactly what your due date is, what sex the baby is, what kind of delivery it will be, what its name will be, and which college the child will attend. Oh, also what you had for lunch.

  5. Lauren

    Yael, you are tiny! And gorgeous, I might add! I feel you. I got many serious inquisitions about the number of babies that I had in my belly – I was much bigger than you. Then as I got closer to my due date, I got “You still haven’t had that baby?” As if I was holding on to it to enjoy just a few more days of full term pregnancy! Hang in there and keep up your self confidence! You are beautiful!

    • yael

      Awww Laur, you are the sweetest! And I am mad in retrospect at all those meanies who made comments to you. And what a stupid question: “You still haven’t had that baby?” It is either rhetorical or I guess you’re supposed to look surprised, look down at your belly and then scream out “HOLY MOLY, I GUESS NOT!”

  6. Rebecca

    You are a cutie patootie and I want to eat you up!!!

  7. AMOR

    Utterly beautiful and breathtaking you are, Yael. Thanks for lifting the picture ban. If you hadn’t, you would not have made my day first thing in the morning. I’m going to show it to John Carlito when I get home. His coo-giggle is equivalent to the “like” FB button. He hasn’t yet graduated to creating a FB page so he can connect with Jonah.

    • yael

      And now you have made my day.

      So at lunchtime during work I went to a lecture session on “Internet Safety for Parents.” And I can confidently tell you that Jonah and John Carlito will be forbidden from having Facebook accounts. I am hoping by 2024 the whole thing will have finally jumped the shark.

  8. fat john

    with all the build up in the blog post i was expecting much bigger…. am a little disappointed actually. go eat a couple scones and get that photo shoot going again.

  9. Jenny

    You look gorgeous!!!

  10. Ellen

    You do look beautiful (and not at all big). In defense of the a-holes…some are too young or inexperienced to know any better. I remember (with shame and amazement at my stupidity) visiting a former (wonder why she’s former?) friend in the hospital the day after she gave birth and commenting that she still looked pregnant.

    Come to think of it, Jeff’s cousin told me the same thing 3 weeks after I gave birth. People don’t mean to be evil. They are just CLUELESS!! Forgive them and know that you are perfect and perfectly gorgeous.

  11. Elizabeth

    You look fabulous. And right on track. Plus this is your second pregnancy. I felt my belly was 2 months ahead of the baby basically from 15 minutes after the positive pregnancy test.

  12. erin

    I think you’re totally hot, and the stupid people can suck it.

    Member how someone told me its how interesting it was that my butt was growing proportionately with the rest of my body? People are dumb. (Granted, I gained 30 lbs in my second trimester…but whatever.)

  13. trener

    I think I will just tell people that the other baby ate the other one!!!!
    That is the BEST line I have heard!

    Thanks Yael.

    You pull of horizontal stripes very well darling.

  14. Janelle

    Your belly (and your hair, I must say) look amazing.

  15. Sarah

    I am going to have to chime in here…you look gorgeous!! My favorite on that list was #3…”No, a##hole, I am not having the baby any day now. Do you know what a nine-month pregnant woman looks like?!?! Not like this.”

    • yael

      Thanks, friend. I am going to start coming up with good comebacks and then share them with the world. Maybe that will be my one, sole contribution to humanity.

  16. Sonjey

    You look amazing…. Just feel good and keep wearing stripes!

  17. Virginia

    What do they only have 5 lb babies over there? Do people not realize that you had a ginormous 1st Baby…(read: healthy) and that allegedly they get bigger each time around? Most importantly…you don’t look big at all!!! They are crazy! Just tell people you are growing a healthy baby…the best little “footballer” in all of England….

    • yael

      I do always point out my ginormous first baby. But even 8 lb 13 oz doesn’t seem that impressive or convincing, so I sometimes am tempted to say he was 11 lbs at birth.

  18. Kerry

    I concur with the posts earlier that the build-up was way worse than the photo…you look BEAUTIFUL, Yael, and that is coming from a gal who measured “large” at every second pregnancy OB appointment. Thanks, Doc, as if I didn’t know…

    • yael

      Awww thanks, Kerry! I do wonder though if the picture I chose is deceiving. I met this girlfriend for coffee recently who is going to take prego pics of me (side note: she is about 100 lbs total maybe) and her recommendation was that we do the shoot at 36 weeks so that I “definitely look pregnant”. I almost choked on my chai.

  19. Caitlin

    I guess I am late in joining the chorus of you look great… even if I had to laugh at your response to the twin and you have three months left gaffes. Pswah… they were just jealous of your radiance!

    As a complete aside, I am sure you will enjoy this bit of royal wedding tricketry: http://royalwedding.yahoo.com/blogs/stamp-design-gaffe-tears-kate-and-william-apart-3070?nc

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s