do-over

I like to think of blogging like Fight Club.

The first rule of The Blog is, you do not talk about The Blog.
The second rule of The Blog is, you DO NOT talk about The Blog.

This is why you won’t see me mention it in passing conversation. Ever. I would rather die. False. I would not rather die. But nonetheless some of you silent and not-so-silent readers are super sweet and encourage me to quit my day job and/or publish something, against all insurmountable odds of a significant talent shortage and crippling student loan debt. (Shout out from yesterday: Zoe! She knows why. Long time reader, first time caller. x) Or, if last night’s raucous dinner at Les Trois Garcons is any indication, some people like to talk about The Blog openly. Forgive my demurring. We all know how shy and humble I am.

Back to the business at hand. There is one exception to the rule: sometimes I am imploring you to comment. And then, natch, the result is a foregone conclusion. Radio silence. Yesterday Jeremy saved the day with some good honest suggestions for ‘Mira aka Friend On The Couch’. If I may add one more for Couchy Friend: if you haven’t seen the Worst Movie of All Time, a movie so bad it is amazing, a terrible movie with suspect origins, a huge Hollywood following, a viral cornucopia, a movie with never-ending YouTube possibilities, a movie you and your friends and loved ones will never stop quoting until the end of time, well then what are you waiting for?

The Room by Tommy Wiseau. Google it. Watch it. Love it. Read this EW piece. Go to one of the midnight showings in a city near you. Hahahahahahahahaha (inside joke from The Room).

This is my haircut (Bonus is how hot I look in the photo)

I have friends, they know who they are, that are giving me sh*t for this haircut. And that’s the thing about envy: it hurts so good. Shout out to all the lesbians and Justin Bieber who rock hot short hair-dos.

London, I am guessing like many cities, is filled with these small Asian joints where you can get acupuncture, reflexology, massages and a number of other treatments for a multitude of health and well-being issues.

Let’s revisit the menu of treatable ailments, shall we?

Women’s problems
Mens problems
Children’s complaints
Internal conditions
Skin diseases
Pain
Addiction
Stress
and most other problems

I love the crap out of these places. Their advertisements are so intriguing. “Women’s problems”… so much potential… I mean, will they treat a husband’s inability to fully shut a cabinet door or dresser drawer? Will my Excel spreadsheet magically even out the row heights? How about blocking that annoying SAHM on Facebook? You know the one.

Mens problems. Oh, boo, effing hoo.

Children’s complaints. By far my favorite. I can totally see Jonah walking in and being all My mom won’t quit it with the vegetables and her voice is a little high-pitched for my taste. While I’m here, do you have a slide I can go down? I don’t have a slide at home. Our flat sucks, if I’m really honest.

And just so all bases are covered, they do also address “most other problems”. Give them a call today!

I do have one Women’s Complaint today actually, and it’s this: why does the whole of the British population love the show Frasier so much? WHY?

P.S. Melissa, I totally mentioned Google and youtube today. Welcome to London (again)!

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9 Comments

Filed under blogging, culture clash, fashion icon, friends, health, photos, product placement, techmology, tv

9 responses to “do-over

  1. Pleban

    If I’m not mistaken, that look on your face is the same one that you gave when you were featured in the NYPost……

  2. zoe

    it’s true: you’re amazing. do it. 🙂 xo

  3. mira aka Couchy Friend

    1. I am SO honored to have not one but TWO shout-outs on your blog. Maybe this couchy thing isn’t so bad.
    2. Haircut is WAY cute. Who is giving you grief and why? As I’ve said before, once you go short you never go back. That could be said for some other things, too. I’m so sad you don’t play for my team because with a haircut that short and cute, we’d gladly claim you. And, P.S. due to aforementioned couchiness and having to cancel haircut appointment, I could definitely make an appearance on the Justin Bieber website. Sadness.
    3. Jonah texted me and said he wouldn’t dream of going to that place because, so far, everything’s perfect 🙂

  4. sonjey

    shout out to MY zoe, who reads your blog faithfully….. let’s band together….. Yael…… publish blog…publish blog…or something other than blog! yea!
    If anyone can carry that haircut……….you can….. I like it!

  5. yael

    zoe and sonj, yer so sweet. I totes want to come be a teacher at your school.

    Couchy Friend, remember when you had a hairstylist that would fly in for appointments? You need to call him.

  6. Your blog is amazing. Your haircut/photo is hot.

  7. mdouris25

    How did I get lke 7 posts behind? Haircut is adorable – I’ve been debating going short again … this photo may just be the final push I needed to just do it.

    btw, I totally have the same “women’s problems” that you do, if you add in to your braod caterogies a husband who can’t freakin’ pick up of the 14 water glasses he’s taken out and placed all over the apt that are all at least 1/2 full and the weird excel sheet (with the uneven rows) that periodically likes to undo my formulas and replace the numbers I imput with “####”.

  8. mdouris25

    apparently I also have severe typing/spelling deficiencies.

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