chav

Although the on-line dictionary will say something else, the way I hear chav used in the UK is like how an American might use WT. Now that we have learned ourselves something…

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Yesterday I actually took Jonah to Selfridges so I could see Katie Price in the flesh during her book signing. This is a clear sign I should no longer be on maternity leave. For those unaware of Katie, she is “Jordan” (omg, she lowered the price on her official fan club membership because of the “current financial crisis”!!) and is inexplicably what is called in the UK a “glamour model”. Now I am on Team Pete after their nasty split (and holy, is he HOT), but for some reason I have a low-level obsession with this woman. The boobs, the fake tan, the three kids (one with severe disabilities), the candor, the fact that she rides horses (only in Britain such incongruity in a person!), the down-to-earth persona, the empire she has created from her “brand”, the velour tracksuits, the accent, the outfits… oh I could go on. She is my pop culture beacon in an otherwise wasteland of material (royals = boring; children of Bob Geldof = YAWN).

article-0-06E85EB0000005DC-950_634x616So in typical Jordan fashion, she arrived to her book signing late and in bizarre dress with an entourage of men dressed as women, including her current boyfriend who has admitted in the press he enjoys cross-dressing (and incidentally, he is a cagefighter). I felt sorry for Selfridges. I am pretty sure it has a higher class rep than that and I could almost hear the disdain in the voice of the girl on the PA: Attention shoppers, if you want to meet Katie Price, please head to the Lower Ground level. (And then shoot me.)

So it was me and a large gathering of maladjusted and sorry individuals. Definitely a fire code violation and definitely not a place for a baby. Oops. And of course I was too short to see anything.

When Katie had departed, I started flipping through her new book and found myself surprisingly sucked in. When a tourist next to me asked who Katie Price was, I gave her a mini-education on the UK’s finest. All the while an English girl was giving me the stink eye, as if to say “don’t you try and drop knowledge on our native daughter, you, American, you.” Look, I can’t help my hobby.

P.S. I looked up “chav” and it reminds me of something that always amuses me. In the UK, when the youth are up to no good like, um selling drugs or getting in pub brawls, it’s called “anti-social behaviour”. I love it. What Americans would use to refer to a quiet person at a cocktail party, the British apply to teenagers who push pregnant women onto train tracks. So antisocial!

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8 Comments

Filed under celebrities, london

8 responses to “chav

  1. Elizabeth Isabella

    I remember when Peter Andre had his first single out in Australia. He was huge. But he always seemed to me to be really greasy and gross. Has that changed?

  2. andrea922

    This is one of the things I miss the most about living in London – trashy celebs like Jordan. I also have a mild obsession with her, because she is just so, well, so trashy. I am disappointed I never saw her in person!

  3. Can you enlighten me as to what
    WT means? Not heard that one.

  4. Pleban

    Yes, Yael, please enlighten us on “WT”….

  5. yael

    I can’t even bring myself to type it out… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_trash

  6. Pleban

    “‘White trash’ should be differentiated from the term ‘redneck’, as each has a unique historical etymology and context in modern usage.”

    Ha!

    Chalk this one up to learning something new every day.

  7. toshalot

    Phew! I am glad others read this post before me and could ask wtf “WT” stood for bc I was totally confused too.
    And, I’m scared for you. Your pop culture knowledge is somehow expanding even more. You should go out and buy some new shoes or something. That’s what I do when I find that I’ve spent my entire day off watching E television and Housewives of … marathons on Bravo. Helps you to land more comfortably back in the real world.

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