bad mom

I have been a bad blogger and I decided I might as well be consistent. These are the ways that in just three short weeks I have discovered I am a bad mom:

  1. When we took Jonah out in the Baby Bjorn for the first time, I forgot a hat. Apparently 2 week olds are not supposed to be exposed to the sun or they melt or something. So we walked around all afternoon with a bib balancing on his head.
  2. I am pretty sure I nursed Jonah on Saturday about 20 minutes after I had a beer and a jello shot. But to be fair, he purposely lost flip cup for our team.
  3. I really, really, really want to get a mani/pedi. The salon I go to has the most intense chemical smell of any I have ever been to. So I am currently researching where I can purchase a baby-size face mask.
  4. Breastfeeding can be all-consuming and monotonous in the beginning. So I attempt to multi-task and often eat at the same time. To date I have dropped Dorito crumbs and chocolate ice cream on Jonah’s head.
  5. With respect to the aforementioned all-consumingness, sometimes when Jonah is screaming and flailing with inconsolable hunger and rapture for my boob, I stick my nose in his mouth at first just to watch him intensely suckle before confusion sets in. It makes me laugh every time.

I do love him more than anything in the universe. But I yam what I yam.

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12 Comments

Filed under uh oh mommyblogging

12 responses to “bad mom

  1. kate

    i always think if you can drive, then you can nurse.

  2. NeNe

    Whenever we took the babies out with La La and Pop Pop, I always remembered the essentials: my purse, my lipstick, maybe a candy bar. But La La was good at the little extras: diapers, pacifier, bottle, blanket, lotion, toys. I never quite got the hang of that.

  3. Would you please give yourself a break with the blogging thing? For reals. You have a 3 week old for crying out loud. Or maybe I’m just trying to make myself feel better for blogging even less than you. Either way, I think you’re a stud of a mom. And how did you where that blue dress to the party? Where did you hide the nursing pads?

    • yael

      I love this question! Nursing pads are just inside the dress. I may be the first bra-less nursing woman in history. Cue Alanis Morrisette’s soon-to-be hit, Ironic Part II: Yael’s Boobs Never Grow. No Matter What.

      But for summertime cutey outfits… I’ll take it.

      (Laura, you have two toddlers and a newborn on the way. You would be arrested if you blogged more.)

  4. Adrian Adonis

    Sweets – you forgot about the time you left him on the tube as well. That was bad. But in your defense, you were high on meth.

  5. mdouris25

    Yael – I’m duly impressed that you and Jonah made it out the door looking so fabulous. The first time my best friend took her newborn son out, she forgot to pack an extra outfit for the baby. He proceeded to immediately throw up on himself within 15 minutes of being at the party. He went home wearing our friends’ flannel pillowcase fashioned into a newborn outfit.

  6. Janet Gentile

    The first time we took Nicholas to the pediatrician I forgot a diaper bag and when we got there he peed through his clothes. The only size diaper they had was a five. It was up to his mouth. I then had to put his pee pee outfit back on. Mom of the year!!

    • yael

      Oh that is good!! I am glad I have time to amass more parenting faux pas.

      I forgot to mention when I clipped Jonah’s inner thigh into his stroller seatbelt clasp. 2 week-olds definitely don’t appreciate blood blisters like they should.

  7. Awesome post. Get so tired of people pretending that they are perfect parents and trying to one up each other with how perfect they are!

  8. toshalot

    enter the follow up to this post titled “sometimes moms have to pee while breast-feeding”.

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