on the eve of everything: a love letter (post 2)

Dear Bryan,

Word on the street is that our whole lives are about to be flipped upside-down and inside-out and never again the same. I tend to trust the masses so it must be true. And I wanted to make sure I said these things to you before that moment.

I dreamed of you before I knew you. I loved you the day we met. I will never stop loving you. And I am nothing if not stubborn until the end. The 10 years we have had together have been a gift that I think about often and smile. It feels so greedy and selfish and deliciously indulgent. When others were choosing to start families earlier, to speed things along… I predictably wanted to freeze time. And we will never have to say that we didn’t travel enough, didn’t have enough bottles of wine on a Friday night – just us, didn’t sit on enough dates talking about who knows what and never running out of things to say that seemed so funny, stark, poignant, serious, illuminating and heartachingly beautiful in their mundaneness. We slept in ten years of mornings, stayed up ten years of nights, and answered only to one another. I could do it again for another decade. The story of us so far feels like one of those lazy river things where I never want to get off of the raft. But we like roller coasters too. So apparently that’s where we’re headed.

I expect our decade of heat and friendship to help us find those adult glimpses in the chaos of kids and buoy us as we go along. We are moments away from bone crushing exhaustion and almost suffocating elation. And I know we’re strong and ready and excited for it. I cannot wait to meet our baby and see what our love looks like in human form. But you’re still the guy in my life and I will never, ever stop having a crush on you. We didn’t need anything else to be happy, which means our child is wanted instead of needed. Lucky him or her. Lucky us.

Love, me

(the best I could find had subtitles…)

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “on the eve of everything: a love letter (post 2)

  1. sonjey

    You did it again…. sitting in my classroom, while my class takes their Social Studies DBQ… balling my eyes out….. What a beautiful love letter…. Write back, Bry…..cause i’m exploding with emotion on the eve.

  2. toshalot

    🙂 beautiful, schmaelie.

  3. Lindsay

    Simply beautiful!!!! You amaze me every time you write something! Love you guys sooo much! Can’t wait to be an aunt tomorrow.

  4. mdouris25

    Best wishes for a wonderful tomorrow!

  5. Theresa

    Best wishes for the road you’re headed down and I wanted to say I haven’t read anything that beautiful in a long time. Simply wonderful!

  6. This post made me all teary-eyed. We also had 6 blissful years before our daughter arrived and now that she’s 8 years old, we’re going to bring home our twin boys from the hospital in the next few weeks (hopefully sooner rather than later). I feel the same way about my DH. Life with him is amazing. Without him would be unbearable.

    Wishing you lots of luck with an easy delivery and speedy recovery. Enjoy and kiss the baby lots!!!!

    And one piece of advice is that in the next few months when things start to get back to a “new normal”, have date nights. They are critical to keeping that spark alive. Even if the date night is just a fancy dinner at home after the baby goes to bed. Talk about anything but the baby. I always say when the kids grow up and move out, you’ll be just the two of you again and you need to remind yourselves along the way the things you like to do together.

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