mj tix can replace our 401(k)

The big news for five minutes yesterday was that the Ticketmaster and O2 Arena websites were getting such an unprecedented number of hits for Michael Jackson pre-sale tickets, that the sites were crashing and simultaneously the promoters announced 10 new concert dates… then 20… then 30… now it’s 50.

Now, where do I begin. First of all, I somehow managed to get a special presale code and I somehow managed to, after an hour, find the one date with the right number of tickets in the right nosebleed section of the venue, without the site crashing. This. Is. Big. News. Within hours, thousands of tickets were for sale on ebay and craigslist and gumtree and the big scalper sites. I was so pleased with myself for my recession-proof investment plans. MJ tickets will surely put our kids through college. When I walked into our flat last night proudly proclaiming my heroic victory, Bryan stayed true to form. He grumbled about the price and my rogue behavior and questioned the re-sale potential. All three of my readers therefore are my witnesses: I will be vindicated.

Unless. Unless. And this is my second point. How do you add 40 additional show dates in five minutes? That seems a little sketchy to me. Is it that easy to talk a feeble bankrupt weirdo who hasn’t performed in decades to commit to about three extra months of daily physical exhaustion? As one friend pointed out- what if his nose falls off? There are a lot of what-ifs. What if MJ goes on trial for something else or changes his mind and decides Dubai would be a better concert base?

But I am tired of being risk-averse. I am banking on our tickets quadrupling in value. Surely there will be some Middle Eastern oil baron or Jewish father bankrolling a gaudy and inappropriately lavish Bat Mitzvah in this CEC or even the resurrection of MTV’s My Super Sweet 16… and our tickets will be needed.

So keep rehearsing Michael. And Bryan, I will be laughing all the way to Topshop for my new outfits.


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Filed under bryan, celebrities, fiscal responsibility, london, music - HA!, not-yet-conceived children

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