Jk, it really doesn’t.
There were so many things I wanted to write about today. First it was the Palestinian-Israeli conflict and why I think international and religious organizational control over holy sites is a very interesting part of the culled solutions offered by the best minds. But then I realized, no, I don’t want to write about ethno-political conflict and the consequences of refugee migration- in fact I want to write about how I just ate a blueberry muffin from Starbucks for breakfast and it reminded me, as Jim Gaffigan so astutely puts it, a muffin is just a cupcake without frosting. Dammit.
But then- the elephant in this room. I mean that as an idiom. Or whatever. Not to describe my current physical state.
Part of my hesitation in writing about being preggers is that it seems terribly cliche to blog about pregnancy and then baby-rearing. I mean, can we have one big collective eyeroll please? Obviously it’s much more fun to post pictures of food. We all can agree I am sure.
I can’t live up to the most famous female blogger in the universe– even though we basically share a due date. Plus, at the same number of weeks as me, her stomach is half the size. AND it’s her second pregnancy. Which means I am about four times larger than I am supposed to be. Awesome and awesome.
Obviously though, there are going to be some fascinating posts in your future if you stick with me:
- Celebrating the positive pee stick(s) with 2 champagnes and a glass of wine
- Debilitating hunger and dry heaving: totally worth it until the kid becomes a teenager
- Pelvic floor exercises…mmm
- People are just more boring when I’m sober
- Mummies, nappies, dummies, prams/ pushchairs/ buggies, moses baskets, cots- um, translation please?
- Husband, can you please take lots of pictures of me pregnant, but also make me look skinny
- DID YOU KNOW WOMEN POOP ON THE TABLE WHEN GIVING BIRTH?
Sorry, I had to add the last one. It’s criminal that these things don’t become more public knowledge. You can thank me later. And by the way, this photograph of maternity pantyhose is on my list of most revolting things I have ever laid eyes on. I feel like the torso/head-less woman is telling you to adopt.
Tonight we are off on an aeroplane headed for Reykjavik, Iceland for a longish weekend. It gets 4-5 hours of daylight in the winter.