what’s $700 billion between friends

I mean really. Let’s just let Congress approve this stupid bailout package so that everyone can go home and get on their way. There are presidential candidate debates to be conducted, David Letterman appearances to bail on…that sort of thing.

I don’t know what everyone is crying about. This package will cost each American taxpayer about $5,300. Which is almost 9 times the value of the $600 we were all given earlier in the year as part of the Economic Stimulus Package. Now we just have to give it back (plus a lot more) because it’s really, really important for our economy that banking and finance executives can continue to send their kids to private school. Have a heart people. It doesn’t matter that you might have spent your rebate already on two pairs of pants at Banana Republic and a bag of chips. YOU NEED TO GIVE IT BACK.

As for me (since I know how much you care), I find it to be no small coincidence that I randomly decided this morning I should play the lottery. And I never think that. And then wouldn’t you know it, some cheery Antipodean nurse at my doctor’s office asked me if I had gotten my EuroMillions ticket for the big payout tonight, while drawing four vials of my blood. Incidentally, they are not called shots in this country- they are ‘jabs’. So precious.

When Bryan and I win the lottery, I am going to share the wealth. After the really nice student loan people, the first payout goes to the commenters on this blog. I’m sorry, that’s just the kind of girl I am.

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10 Comments

Filed under fiscal responsibility, politics...sike!

10 responses to “what’s $700 billion between friends

  1. Rebecca

    damn you Pleban. Second.

  2. babcocks7

    You can pay off my student loans, too 🙂

  3. Nilda

    I say only first 5 get any (I don’t want to have to share with everyone)!

  4. mira

    i’m here, i’m here!

  5. Maddo

    I dont expect any share of the spoils. I love Yael for her looks, not her money.

  6. poren

    I secretly only comment to get a personal email from yael after. My favorite part;)

    oh, and I have a new topic for you, appropriately dressing for work in a downpour. My bright yellow galoshes are too out even for me to wear;(

  7. Josh

    EconoBlog! Nice work Yael

  8. kate

    i’m here too! loyally checking every day!

  9. Jabs in England, but if you go north of the border, they’re jags. (Not a lot of English people know that.)

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