Yesterday I swam laps for the first time in a verrrrry long time. I picked the worst possible time: kids’ swim lesson hour. Which means for a few days the entire 55% liquid that makes up my body content, will actually be comprised of urine.
As I was swimming, I caught something like this in the viewing gallery:
I definitely see a lot more of that here in London than I ever did in New York. As I swam on, I kept thinking, I bet she wishes she was me right now: Free as a bird, gliding through delicious water, in nothing but a bathing suit. Then, because I wasn’t really paying attention, I backstroked head on into the crotch of a 70s porn star-looking man in a tighty Speedo. The same guy who kept lapping me while saying excuse me in his British accent, and undressing me a little with his eyes. Not because he thought I was hot (I was wearing a 15 year-old one-piece bathing suit that has apparently lost all elasticity), but just because that’s how porn stars have to look at the world.
This is a 4-day work week for many of you- leading up to a favorite holiday of mine. This is the first time I will celebrate America’s independence from Great Britain in the country of our former rulers. The rulers aren’t so bad, btw.
It’s a good time to think about our patriotism and why that poor, Muslim, America-hater, Barack Obama, just can’t catch a break. Just kidding. I know Obama loves America as much as me…see? (Thanks boywonderesq.)