uh yeah, i’ve got nothing

I am completely at a loss of what to post today. You might be thinking, “then why post Yael?” Good question, I am so glad you asked.

Because daily fresh content is all I have going for me. If I even have that. The five people that read this blog would agree that I am not a mind-blowing writer, don’t trash my family, don’t write about my struggles with postpartum depression and raising kids, don’t anonymously write scathing and hilarious accounts of my workplace and don’t say anything interesting about the election or new music. Basically, reading this blog is as useful and entertaining as completing a word jumble in a free newspaper: it’s always new, and it passes the time for ten seconds.

Today’s possible pointless subjects:

  • Our upstairs neighbors’ terrace is 5 feet from our bedroom window and when I had one of my regular sleeping-in-late-on-an-unemployed-workday mornings the other day, I was traumatically awoken by the sounds of them sipping tea and discussing in British accents what the proper pronunciation of “junta” is.
  • I have gone to this class at the gym twice now: “Legs, Bums & Tums.” Out of 40 girls, I am definitely the one that is always off the beat and not in time with the instructor on the movements. Which always surprises me because when I am out drinking, I have such good rhythm to music.
  • Today I go to pick up the new Xbox cord near Tottenham Circus. Cross your fingers.
  • I am definitely going through edamame-withdrawal in London.
  • Bryan’s company hired an employee the other day who then quit 3 days later. He still gets paid for a month. You picked the right country, buddy.
  • If I had to choose between being an observant Mormon and never drinking alcohol or having sex before marriage OR being Orthodox Jewish and not eating bacon, I would choose Mormon.
  • If you watch “Half Nelson” and “Lars and the Real Girl” back-to-back like I did last week, you will believe that Ryan Gosling is a great actor.
  • I never say “cheers” when I am finishing a transaction with an English person. I always get nervous and tongue-tied and so I overcompensate by saying “thank you” approximately 19 times. Bryan says “cheers.” He is so in here.
  • Tonight we’re having a whole chicken. And no I am not that crazy- it’s pre-cooked. (By the way, people that discuss what is for dinner prior to one hour before dinner are people with too much time on their hands.)
  • This weekend we’re going to Amsterdam and we’re trying to decide if we should celebrate our anniversary early with a prostitute or a brick of “Light of Jah” marijuana. Just kidding mom & dad! We’re going to be studying Anne Frank.

Cheers.

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14 Comments

Filed under blogging, london

14 responses to “uh yeah, i’ve got nothing

  1. Rebarky

    actually, this is one of my favorite posts. Hilarious. I always decide what I am making for dinner at about 9 am everyday. And regardless of usefulness/uselessness of your blog, you HAVE to post everyday b/c it is the first website I check every morning when I get into work.

  2. Brian

    I agree with Rebarky. Even when the post is simply a little late (and thus I can’t read it over whatever breakfast I decided on the night before), I have a mini panick attack.

    Also – as a “job”, you could do worse than just taking jobs you know you’ll hate, and then quitting 3 days later. And you’ll only have to do it 12 times to get paid for a full year! Only downside? Lack of references after awhile

  3. Ney Ney

    I have several reactions to this post:
    1. The post in which you have nothing to say turns out to be the longest one you have written. I think you are on to something here.
    2. What about the David vs David finale? Or haven’t you seen that yet?
    3. What about all my great suggestions? I have no idea what they are anymore.
    4. AUNT GERT
    5. I don’t believe a word you wrote about Amsterdam.

  4. yael

    I am so glad you are back, Pleban.

    Rebarky and Ney Ney, my most loyal commenters… I have of course not seen David vs. David yet. I am a day late and a dollar short on all things American.

  5. Ida

    I quite like your pointless blog–it’s funny.

  6. Ida

    I will add you to my blogroll, maybe that will bump your visitors to 10 instead of 5. =)

  7. Bryan Caplin

    This is a great post.

    Cheers.

  8. Nilda

    Brian H. wants to know what’s for dinner before lunch time so he can choose what to have for lunch – I really know how to pick ’em!
    And, I make whole chicken all the time – it’s the easiest thing in the world – just stick a cut lemon & herbs in the cavity and you’re Martha Stewart.
    =)

  9. yael

    Brian H. turned me on the ramen place in midtown so he was considered a lunch guru. I will have to try a true whole chicken…

  10. Rebarky

    It’s me again. Just wanted to chime in that I am scared of making whole chickens so if you do it let me know how it goes.

  11. Josh

    Gosling is a good actor but according to rumors a giant pain in the ass to work with.

    Have you seen ‘The Believer”?

  12. RascalKing

    I just found this blog. I posted “moving to London” American- in Google and I found it. I did this b/c: I’m moving to London and Im American.
    I take solace in the fact that there other fellow Americans getting ripped on the weekends in the UK. I fear the British pints of beer as they have crushed me the times I have visited.

  13. yael

    RascalKing, give us a holler when you get here. We are always up for some expat debauchery.

  14. I tried to do “cheers” once when getting out of a taxicab and my sister, who was over visiting from the states at the time, told me I could *not* pull it off and should definitely not try. So I use it in emails but never in person!

    I’ll join in that expat debauchery some time….

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