showering

Remember a time in your life when showers were refreshing, rejuvenating, peaceful… a place where you could *get away from it all*?

Well, it must not have taken place in Europe.

Europe does not believe in pleasant showering. I know this because we looked at 25 flats before settling on one, and I have also taken an informal, yet highly scientific and statistically significant poll, with about two people.

In our particular bathroom – WC if you will – there are several key elements designed to rob you of all showering enjoyment. The first is the moveable half-piece of glass that arbitrarily separates about one-half of the tub from the the rest of the room. This is handy and prevents at least 10% of the water from escaping onto the bathmat. Luckily, the other 90% of the water does in fact spew forth from the wall, and cascades and hydroplanes off the human body onto the bathmat, the toilet, the floor, and sometimes, the towel rack. This is because the other 1/2 of the tub has no separation from the rest of the room. And why should it? Shower curtains and full shower doors are for pansy Americans that think getting clean should be easy.

The second element of our shower that will forever haunt me, is the fact that a MIRROR has been installed on the inside of the bathtub- a large mirror. As you turn, grab the soap, get lost in your thoughts, you are only ever 1/4th of an inch away from your cellulite / paleness / hairy-ness / droopiness / skinniness / fatness / lack-of-gymness (you get my drift). It’s terrifying.

Also, water here can either be “soft,” “medium” or “hard,” and apparently you’re supposed to know which to adjust certain other elements like what kind of soap you use and what temperature water and for how long. Huh? How do you test water hardness? Frankly, it doesn’t really matter, because after I have flooded the entire bathroom, and stared at my disappointing birthday suit self for what seems like an eternity, I quickly shut the softmediumhard water off, begin to mop, and consider not showering tomorrow.

bathroom

In other news, Bryan wants everyone to know about his first celebrity sighting. It was bound to happen. We only move where the celebrities live, everyone knows that. From his mouth to your ears (eyes, whatever):

Noel Gallagher walking down the street in my neighborhood this morning, looking very pissed off (how appropriate) and probably just getting home from a night out for St. Patty’s Day.
As far as British star sightings go, I think this is a good one.

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2 Comments

Filed under london, music - HA!, photos, quantum physics

2 responses to “showering

  1. Ney Ney

    After that description of the shower, I think I’ll just hop on a plane tomorrow and test it out for myself.

  2. snosh

    ok. too funny. of course when i was in london, i refused to shower bc i was always too cold (no sweat, no shower), so i can’t say whether this is an exaggeration or not.

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