This will shock you, but I did not watch the Oscars last night. And as a devout follower of pop culture, it borders on sacrilegious. I did try, but they started at 1 a.m. here. At 11 p.m. there was a British tv personality “Live from the Red Carpet” but she was representing Sky TV so none of the snobby celebrities would stop and talk to her. Oh how I missed Ryan Seacrest.
But it certainly turned out to be the Year of the Foreigner. In my pool I put money on Daniel Day-Lewis, Julie Christie, Javier Bardem and Tilda Swinton. All four foreigners, 3 were Brits doing American accents. What’s that about?? And Tom Wilkinson was too. Then Marion Cottilard took one and well, dang! Speaking of foreigners…
Why are the Swedes the most genius human beings ever to have evolved? Have you been to Ikea lately? We have. Saturday night as a matter of fact. Which was awesome. Not. Today I was putting a cute little red table together, just marveling at all the little pegs and special screws and instruction manual without requiring one written word. The fact that the Swedes have captured the market of affordable home furnishings and decorative items, and allowed someone like me to put furniture together- well, it’s outrageous. And brilliant. What has America contributed?
Funny I should ask. US! America has contributed me, and best of all, Bryan. He was so frustrated with British Telecom, in trying to get us a home phone line, that the customer service rep had to ask Bryan to “use proper language.” Then Bryan went on a rant about how hard it has been to get a bank account, a phone line, internet in our new flat… and how disorganized the infrastructure is here. I suggested that maybe it wasn’t that the UK did anything wrong, but rather the fact that this is the first time in our lives where we are seeing what it’s like to be “foreign” somewhere. Ask anyone who has emigrated to the U.S., and they will tell you their own woes.
Bryan was lamenting that his new laptop has a British keyboard, and the @ symbol was relocated. I said, “why??” He explained that it was to add the pound symbol. But there is also still a dollar sign. I asked why it would have both. And he said,
“Because Americans f**king rule.”
Ahhh. We’re assimilating nicely.