(heart)

Selfridges thinks of everything.

As an American now going on 35 years, I will never be able to rid myself of the indoctrinated notion that Valentine’s Day is a day for love, not just of a romantic partner or targeted conquest, but also family, friends, childhood classmates, co-workers, the cleaning lady… I know it’s because American companies are superior at devising ways to diversify and maximize profits but I don’t care – I think it’s nice.

So it was tough when I was looking around the stores in London for Valentine’s cards for Jonah and Simon. All the cards sold here are all Hey Hot Horny Hunk, Ooga Ooga Ooga Let’s Swing from the Chandeliers Tonight and then Eat Fish & Chips and Watch Corrie. I actually struggled and then ended up with cards that are clearly meant for couples but have animals on the fronts so I think I can pass them off as not too inappropriate.

I’m grateful the stores are not completely drowning in red, but I do miss the childish aspect Vtines has in the US. And no one sent me Necco conversation hearts this year. I am not mad. Just disappointed. Achem.

I was at the grocery store yesterday on a singular mission and when I got to my intended aisle and shelf, I actually started to have a breakdown. See, it turns out I wasn’t the first psychotically corny stay-at-home-mom to get there.

Yep, all the red food colouring was gone. But like a Phoenix from the ashes, the experience granted me an epiphany: it might be time to get that career back on track.

This might get me excommunicated from the SAHM community.

Happy Valentine’s Day, EVERYONE. If you have love from one tiny corner of the Earth, then it’s your day too.

Also, just be glad you don’t live in Japan for Vtines (unless you do). Yikes!